Perhaps it is something that I am just noticing more, or perhaps there has been an increase in this topic, but I have been seeing/hearing a lot more about the overuse of the word ‘sorry’ and the effect that it has on a person. There is a lot of negative connotation surrounding the word sorry. I know I am guilty of using that word more than is probably necessary. Using the word sorry is admitting that you have done something wrong even when you have not.
When I was a server, if the kitchen messed something up, I would tell the table/customer/guests that I was sorry. There were a few people though that asked me what I was sorry for. They asked if it was my fault. It wasn’t, but I was sorry that things were not how they had wanted or that their food took longer to get to them than it reasonably should have. Is there another socially acceptable way to express condolences to a person without sounding like you are accepting the blame and without using the word condolences?
Furthermore, I know that I am guilty of apologizing for things that I necessarily do not need to apologize for, and I know that a large portion of the population is also guilty of this. In one aspect, overusing the word sorry can have a negative effect on your mindset, but on the other hand, whenever I say it, I truly feel bad for whatever has caused another person sorrow.
I read a post the other day. For the life of me I can’t remember where I saw it, but it suggested replacing your ‘sorry’ impulse with a ‘thank you’ impulse. Where you would say, “I’m sorry that I’m always late,” you could say, “Thank you for having patience with me.” It turns a negative and sorrowful statement into one of praise for the person you would be apologizing to. People tend to react better to this than the one drawing attention to a not so positive thing that has happened.
With my serving example, I could have said, “Thank you so much for your patience and understanding.” Who would complain if I said that? What are you going to say, I’m not patient and understanding? Whereas if I say, “I’m so sorry that this took so long,” someone could follow that up with, “Yeah. You should be sorry. I want to speak to a manager.” Praise goes a lot further than giving people something to complain about.
So, thank you for your patience with me as a blogger, the few of you that hang in here with me. I’m pretty new, but thank you for tagging along on this journey, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic! I’ve been musing about it a lot over the last week, and I feel like if I am able to implement replacing the word ‘sorry’ with a ‘thank you phrase,’ it will bring a lot more positivity into my life.
Thoughts/ideas/comments/anything? Leave em’ below!